Rose Through Storms

During mental and emotional storms art is and always has been my shelter, even when I forget it’s there. But taking an active and conscious role in the process of creating art helps me GROW through my storms instead of merely (typed “nearly” at first - a Freudian slip) going through them. 

In the midst of all my usual negative self-talk while I’m creating, I just focused on bringing the picture I saw in my mind to fruition. And it’s the same with life - I have so many seeds planted with the capacity to bear an abundance of blossoms beyond my wildest dreams, giving my attention to my negative beliefs about my self and my present circumstances does me no good because I’d be watering the wrong seeds. 

My garden is so full of color and light you can see that b*tch from space, so I can’t be cultivating nightshade and poison oak. If we become what we believe (and I believe this is true) then my limiting beliefs are weeds, and not the good kind.

What seeds are you watering? What do you want your garden to look like? Do the answers to both those questions line up? Storms are an occupational hazard in the human experience, but they’re also an opportunity to fortify what makes us strong and plant new seeds with deeper roots and richer fruit. 

Practicing Presence

My search for an anchor amidst a constant wave of conflicting emotions has lead me to some interesting places mentally and spiritually. One idea in particular has deep resonance - “Honor your presence.”

Our presence here in this space and time is the most important thing about us. We’re one of the most miraculous creatures in existence and we aren’t taught how to properly honor ourselves or each other.

I’m practicing the act of honoring my present by being present and living through my work, by taking time out to quiet my mind long enough to enjoy the moment. Taking time out for self-care and implementing rituals and acts that reflect self-love is my way of honoring my presence here in this space and time.

I’m also doing my best to honor other’s presence, which can be difficult in times when it conflicts with honoring my own presence and doing what’s best for me. Balance is the name of the game.

Ready Player None

Spent most of the day working on projects that made me super uncomfortable. Not because there was anything wrong, I just felt like I wasn’t ready so procrastination tried to take precedent. A million and one reasons later and I feel super accomplished. Today’s lesson: it takes the same amount of energy to come up with reasons to not do something as it does to just get it out of the way. Gonna write that on strip of paper and tape it to my laptop, because tomorrow’s a whole nother day.

Side Hustle Hard

Side hustles really took over for the ‘99 and the 2000’s. Random, enormously tedious, vastly underpaid. I’ve done everything from Postmates to background acting, they all end up not being worth the time and energy. I have friends and family who do Uber/Lyft, freelancing, hell even teaching kids in China how to speak English online. Nobody warned 80’s babies about this while they were shoving dreams of 4-year college degrees and a drug-free America down our throats. Thirty years into the future and there aren’t any mansions filled with nice cars and the kids we had with our celebrity crush like that game of MASH said would happen. But these degrees sure look nice on this fancy ass paper, and the weed around here is A-1.